TJM: Return to San Lorenzo 7

Hey Arnold!: the Movie 2 - Return to San Lorenzo

Part 7

It is dawn in the jungle. Arnold sneaks silently back onto the campsite and into his tent. There, Gerald is still sleeping. Arnold tries to wake him up.

Arnold: (whispers) Gerald...

Gerald: Zzzz...five more minutes..zzzz...

Arnold: (whispers) Come on, Gerald, wake up...

Gerald: (yawns)....Huh? What time is it...?

Arnold: (whispers) I need your help. Helga's been kidnapped!

Gerald: Wha...?

Arnold: (whispers) Kidnapped!

Gerald: (shouts) Kidnapped?

Arnold covers Gerald's mouth with his hand and gives him an angry glare.

Arnold: We've got to go rescue her!

Gerald: Uh-uh. No way.

Arnold: But Gerald...

Gerald: Arnold, look at me. It's out of our hands now. This isn't the big city. This is the jungle...the JUNGLE! With snakes and quicksand and who knows WHAT else out there, ready the gobble us up whole! I say we go straight to Mr. Simmons' tent and tell him what happened.

As Gerald is talking, Abner (whose eyes are still closed) rises to its feet and slowly trots out of the tent.

Gerald: Are you listening to me?

Arnold: Gerald, Abner's gone!

Gerald: Ah, I'm sure he'll be alright - he's probably just searching for truffles again.

Arnold: But you said it yourself - it's dangerous out there. I'm going after him.

Gerald: Wha-hey, Arnold! Wait up! Man, this is crazy! Mr. Simmons is gonna KILL us!

But Arnold had already left the tent and is now halfway across the campground, with Gerald close behind.

Meanwhile, everyone is still sound asleep, save for Sid, who emerges from his tent to "answer the call of nature". Still half-groggy, he makes his way to a nearby tree, unaware of the knife jutting out of it, merely inches from his nose. When he is awake enough to open his eyes, he spots the knife and lets out a shriek while falling to the ground.

When on the ground, he looks up and realizes that three shadowy men are above him, holding weapons and grinning savagely.

Sid: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

In an instant, the camp is swarmed by roguish men, most of whom are riding horses. In the pandemonium the other tents are alerted by Sid's scream and are surprised to be greeted with the onslaught.

A man on a horse rides to the centre of the campsite and surveys the area. Mr. Simmons approaches the man cautiously.

Man: (Australian accent) Good work, gentlemen! Ol' Somby'll be pleased with the loot we scrounged up today!

Mr. Simmons: Uh, excuse me...sir?

A group of n'er-do-wells surround Mr. Simmons and glower at him menacingly, but break apart when the man on a horse whistles loudly. He's a rather tall, lanky man in a sleeveless shirt, likely in his 40s or older as evidenced by his grey eyebrows (on his head he wears a Crocodile Dundee-type hat). The man hops off the animal and cordially approaches the teacher.

Man: G'day! Who's in charge around here?

Mr. Simmons: (timidly) I-I am...

Man: (shakes hand) Cheers. Name's Stonewall - bushman-cum-treasure hunter, at your service. Now, I hate to be a burden and all, but my boss - real persuasive bugger, by the by -  instructed that I grab some of his men and some of my men in order to ransack your men - er, and kids, I suppose. And I'd really hate to disappoint the boss, so why don't you be a good hostage and let us do our job?

Mr. Simmons: Uh...

Stonewall: (pats Simmons on back) There's a good lad! Eh Pedro - how's about you fit our good friend here with a nice bit of rope? Only the best, you understand? (winks)

A gruff looking Latin man places a hairy hand on Simmons shoulder.

Mr. Simmons: Oh dear...

Mr. Simmons goes pale as the gruff man takes him away.

Gerald and Arnold continue to follow the sleepwalking pig, with Gerald getting more impatient by the minute.

Gerald: Come on, Arnold...where is Abner leading us?

Arnold: I'm not sure...

Gerald looks over his shoulder and is surprised to see two men with swords behind them. One of the men spots them and they lead in hot pursuit.

Gerald: RUN!

Arnold scoops Abner into his arms and follows Gerald, who is trying to get away from his pursuers. However, Gerald trips over something and falls to the ground, but Arnold was too far away to notice. Only when he stops to catch his breath does Arnold realize that his best friend's not behind him.

Arnold: I think we lost them...Gerald?

Arnold backtracks a bit and is horrified to see that Gerald has already been captured by one of the men.

Gerald: Hey! Watch the hair!

Man: Grr!

The man takes his sword and slices off the topmost portion of Gerald's afro. Gerald's eyes bug out in shock.

Man: I'll take this one back to camp, you catch the other one!

The other man nods and chases after Arnold, who has no choice but to leave Gerald. Eventually Arnold decides to hide behind a bush, which momentarily throws his pursuer off his trail. A second man appears from the opposite direction and meets up with the first scoundrel.

Man 1: Keep your eye out for a kid with a funny-shaped head!

Man 2: And you keep your eye out for a fat kid, a tall skinny kid, and a scrawny-looking kid with stringy hair and go-go boots!

The two continue onward in opposite directions.

Arnold: Oh no...

Arnold closes his eyes and tries to think. Meanwhile, Abner - who is still sleepwalking - picks up the scent of something and follows his nose to a tree situated right behind them. He stands on his hind legs, scratches the tree bark, and snorts imploringly.

Arnold: What's wrong, boy?

Arnold looks at the tree. At first glance, there's nothing blatantly interesting about the tree, but upon closer inspection, Arnold notices a symbol carved into the bark, resembling the shape of an eye.

Arnold: What is this...?

Arnold scans the carving with his hand, then pulls out his amulet, the birthday present from the Green Eyes.

Arnold: I wonder...

Arnold takes the amulet portion of the necklace and joins it with the indentation of the tree. The necklace emits a green light in response and the bark slowly gives way to reveal a door leading into the tree.

Man 2: Hey, did you hear that?

Arnold quickly enters the interior of the tree with Abner in tow before the "door" closes on its own. The two men return to the area where Arnold was hiding and once again survey their surroundings, but when they are satisfied to that no one is there, they leave. Arnold watches them through the tiny knothole within the tree.

Arnold: We'll be safe in here, Abner - but we'll have to wait awhile, until the coast is clear.

Abner snorts quietly and curls up in a ball in Arnold's arms. Arnold rests his back against the wall of the tree, and patiently sits in silence.

Meanwhile, in some undisclosed location, two criminals, a tall man and a short man, are casually playing cards in a dilapidated shack. Suddenly, they are interrupted by the very vocal sounds of protest.

Both men: It's La Sombra...!

Instinctively, the two men drop their cards and stand at attention. The door to the little shack is opened by a rather large and stocky mustached man in a colorful poncho and sombrero. In his hands, kicking and screaming, is Helga.

Helga: For the last time - put me DOWN!

La Sombra drops her on the ground. As she rubs her sore bottom, she notices the other two men glaring at her, then laughing. She gives them a very unpleasant scowl.

Helga: What are YOU looking at?

Tall man: Hey boss, you got a live one this time!

Short man: (sounds like Cheech Marin) Yeah man - and I bet her parents are loaded! From the looks of it, she's definitely not from around here!

La Sombra: Si hombres - she's a student. An AMERICAN student.

The two henchmen look at each other.

Both: (knowingly): Ohhhhh...

They look back at Helga with malicious grins on their faces. For the first time, Helga appears unsure. The short man approaches her, his hands moving as though he were some eager kid in a candy store.

Short man: So, uh, boss...you mind if we give her a search for anything...valuable?

La Sombra: (waves nonchalantly) Knock yourselves out.

Short & Tall man: All right!

The two men advance toward Helga, who unexpectedly gets to her feet and into fighter's stance.

Helga: Watch it - I know jujitsu, so unless you wanna lose a few teeth, I suggest you back off!

But the taller of the two ignores her warning and lunges at Helga, who promptly gives him a solid kick below the belt. While he is momentarily incapacitated, the shorter of the two goes into hand-to-hand combat with Helga, but ends up getting thrown against the wall. All the while, La Sombra stands off to one side and amuses himself with the antics, belting out a hearty laugh every now and then.

Helga lets her guard down long enough for the tall one to get her in a lock, allowing the shorter one an opportunity to search her. But Helga does not relent easily, and she kicks and lashes around violently. This causes her locket to unknowingly fall out of her clothing and slide across the floor, hitting the foot of the head honcho. Immediately La Sombra sobers. As he bends down to pick it up, La Sombra's eyes widen in surprise when he sees the picture of Arnold.

At last, Helga breaks free and prepares to deliver another dose of pain onto her assailants. She is cut short, however, by La Sombra pointing the tip of a machete precariously below her nose. He casually twists it from side to side as Helga gulps uneasily.

La Sombra: Tell me, chica...do you know this boy?

He shows Helga the locket, but she merely scowls in response (though her cheeks betray a crimson colour).

Helga: What's it to you?

La Sombra grins and retracts his weapon.

La Sombra: You wouldn't happen to know where I could find him, in exchange for your freedom...would you?

Helga ponders for a moment, then coyly motions La Sombra closer with her finger, as if to tell him a secret. La Sombra leans in close, and when he does, Helga spits in his eye.

The two men gasp in horror, certain that Helga has just sealed her fate. La Sombra staggers back a few steps, holding his hand to his eye. Unexpectedly, he breaks out into an uproarious laughter, which actually unnerves everyone else in the room. He wipes his face with conviction and beams with a newfound sense of purpose. La Sombra grins widely, revealing for the first time his golden tooth.

Short man: Boss...you okay?

La Sombra: Looks like I found more than I bargained for with you...HA HA HA HA!

He makes his way toward the door.

La Sombra: Tie her up! I'll be back shortly!

Tall man: But Boss, what is this all about?

But La Sombra has already left the shack and speeds away in the Land Rover parked out front.

The two henchmen look at Helga, who was using the distraction to try and sneak out a nearby window. But she is caught and the kicking and screaming routine repeats itself.

Several hours later, Arnold awakes. It is dark, and at first he is unsure of his surroundings, but as his eyes adjust to the dim light, he realizes that he is still inside the tree. He gets up and stretches, and actually looks around at his hiding spot. All throughout the interior of the tree are etched intricate markings, almost resembling hieroglyphics.

Arnold: Whoa...this must have been made by the Green Eyes.

To his left, Arnold spots two things: indentations on the wall resembling a ladder, and a hole that appears to lead downward into the roots of the tree. Arnold kneels down to inspect the hole; it is much too small for Arnold to use, yet around its perimeter are numerous etchings of what appears to be animals. Abner sniffs the entrance of the hole, then squeals excitedly at Arnold, his curly tail wagging at top speed.

Arnold: What is it, boy? You want to go down there?

Abner points at the hole. Arnold pets the pig and ponders.

Arnold: You know...I get the feeling this was made for you...go on.

Abner looks at Arnold and cocks his head to the side in confusion.

Arnold: You seem to know these jungles better than I do. Go on home.

After a moment's hesitation, Abner crawls into the hole and scampers off into the unknown (at least to Arnold). Arnold then climbs up the ladder until it stops at a small door several feet off the ground. Arnold pushes it to reveal the bright daylight sun, and a very large, very broad branch. Carefully, Arnold steps onto it and looks around. He is now the same level as the canopy of the trees, and from his height it serves as a lookout post for the rest of the jungle. About several yards ahead, Arnold can scarcely make out faint plumes of smoke rising from an unknown source.

Arnold: Helga...I'm coming for you.

End of Part 7!